Radiant Bride

There is a bridal gown – white and beautiful, covered in glittery jewels making it shine bright. And as I stand looking at it, I am struck with the thought, “how can I possibly wear this?” I feel so unworthy.  I feel the weight of shame from my past – innocence lost, mistakes made.  The loud voices saying “You are not enough.” Continue reading “Radiant Bride”

Complete Surrender

I am startled out of a deep slumber by the sound of banging. At first I am afraid but then curiosity gets the best of me. I get out of bed and notice the whole house is so lifeless, old and dark. The only light is from the moon as it shines through the windows. There is little light to guide me as I make my way toward the sound that awoke me. I can see well enough to make out an open door at the end of the hall. As I approach the door I realize that’s where the banging is coming from. The room is completely empty. As I enter the room I can see a figure banging on the wall with bare hands like they are trying to break through. Continue reading “Complete Surrender”

Barren No More

I am awakened by the sound of the wind. How I got to the wilderness I don’t know, but I am keenly aware of the ground beneath me. It’s dry and cracked with no life at all. I lift my eyes to look around and all I see is dry, barren, cracked ground. The wind sends the dust from the ground to and fro. I shield my eyes from the bright sun and the dust of this harsh landscape.  Continue reading “Barren No More”

My Father’s Lap

I awaken to the sensation of tears on my pillow. I realize that I have been crying in my sleep again. The hurt and the pain are just too much. My heart is hurting and I can’t catch my breath. I start to hear their words echo in my head…”You were never there for me”, “I don’t love you anymore”, “What do you want now?”, “I’m busy” and “Why can’t you just be like normal people?”. The echoes cut me like a knife and I can’t help but to sob. I wonder what I’ve done wrong. Why did everyone leave me? Then I pray for You to make me a better person so people will love me and come back. Continue reading “My Father’s Lap”