A day of deep sorrow. A day of troubles that linger as dusk settles. A day of many moments that nag and prick at my self confidence and identity. A day wanting to be forgotten as I weep and drag myself to my bed. An intense desire for comfort overwhelms me. A desire that my favorite food, my favorite book or show, not even my favorite person can provide.
“God,” I weep, “I need rest. I need comfort from the tragedies, the doubts, the fears and anxieties. I need you to wrap yourself around me.”
As I curl up on the bed I reach for my blanket. This blanket has seen sorrow and it has seen joy. It has been packed and unpacked. It has the stains of late night tears and binges on favorite foods. It has brought comfort to friends who needed a shoulder to cry on. It has shown love to those who needed to belong. It has heard a thousand prayers of thanksgiving and supplication. Now I needed that comfort once again.
As I lay wrapped in the warmth of this worn well loved blanket I feel a stillness in the air. A presence of peace hovers and a hand reaches and touches my head.
“Daughter,” I hear whispered in the darkened room. “My beloved daughter. You have done well. You have weathered the storm. You have sought me and I am here. I give you strength Beloved. I give you joy. You are wrapped in my tender arms and I bring you peace. I whisper over you my tender words of love, of satisfaction and pride in you. I rejoice over you with singing. I rock you in my arms and desire to never let you go. Yet, like a toddler, you wriggle and wiggle to get down. You desire to run and explore. You want to be free.
You are free in Me and I laugh at your play and I cheer you on in your attempts to learn and grow and become stronger. And at the end of the day I am here to wrap you in my blanket of peace, to soothe you with my quiet whispers and surround you in my loving embrace as you tell me all about your day. The highs of new accomplishments. The devastation of loss or rejection. The turmoil of decisions. The stress of every day life and moments of regrets.
I remind you of the good you accomplished, of the moments of joy you experienced and encourage you to keep inviting Me into every moment of every day that you may always have My reassurance, peace, comfort and knowledge of My love for you.
I love you Beloved. You are Mine and I cradle you with the utmost compassion and care. Love your Abba Papa.”
I continue to lay in the dark, tears rolling down my cheeks yet a smile starts to form deep within as I feel the warmth of my Father’s embrace. “Thank you Abba.” I whisper into the dark. “See you in the morning.”